Friday, March 28, 2008

Manage your conflicts



Some kind of conflicts can be very poisonous.


I have seen many people been really affected when this happened in their private life, as well as in their work place.
When it is not managed in time, it can become very disproportionated in relation to the initial disagreement.


Conflicts are sometimes necessary because they are one of the ways you can affirm your personality. So don’t systematically avoid them.
But there are many other ways to affirm your personality as well, so don’t let it become a habit. And keep in mind that conflict which lasts, can become a mental prison. It takes all your energy and thought, and prevents your light from shining through.







If you live that kind of situation, stop thinking the way people usually do in those cases: “Who is right and who is wrong, who first started, etc...” That is very infantile, and it appeals only to one kind of solution: Parental (hierarchic) control of the situation.
Take a pen, and write on a paper when this started, and why it started.
If it started a long time ago, you maybe have forgotten why it started. ( Some people stay so long in conflict that they sometimes forgot the reason of the initial disagreement). If that is your case, it is really time to change.
Why did this started. Question yourself, is the motive so important that you have to lose all your energy on it, that you take the risk to compromise your credibility ( or objectivity)?


“What can I do? He or she is always looking for confrontation?” That is the most frequent answer I had.


Maybe you are right, but you have to know that if you can’t change someone else, you can change your own behavior, and in this way, force the person to change their behavior towards you.


First of all, refuse to communicate emotionally.


Try to understand without emotion what this person is really trying to tell you. Is it understandable for you?


Secondly, start communicating with him or her in a positive manner.


Reestablish a positive communication. “I understand your concern, and…” or “It is important for me to understand your concern,…..”


Thirdly, stay positive.


In your dialog, stay positive. Retell this person's idea in a positive manner, and tell your own idea with positive words.







Positive communication is a nice way to refuse the mental prison in which some kind of conflicts can maintain you. By changing your method of communication, you will bring positive energy, and force people around you to change.

1 comment:

gaab de aquí a allá said...

the paintings are amazing!

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